And so to not saint-i-size myself with the S&H purchases, I need to put down that my life in those days was mostly about how I could impress others (mother-in-law, sister, mom, friends, husband, the world). At 66, I know that about myself: my needing the attention, the praise, the pat on the back and children kind of allowed me to have that within my little realm (after all I was the princess). Being the oldest, I could be the Martha Stewart/Hilary Clinton/Shirley McClain of my clan only because of their allowing me to be.
The shadow of that still haunts me because I still have that in me, the desire to be the ONE. Often the desire enables my tending to be discounting and demanding. I have begun with my children to be calmer and to be sure to give positive praise and permission, and with the grandkids even more so...the world will have to do without.
Third Act is about tending to those shadows. With a heart full of love for the planet, One hopes to authentically grow in truth.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Grateful for Memories
Alrighty then...doing an online class with Katie Kendrick. This week she had demo'd placing a grid onto whatever substrate one is using; she was actually doing a journal page.
She was thinking about familial memories and began with placing S&H Green Stamps onto her journal pages. This gave her the beginnings of the grid and took her to memories of sticking them into books for her mother when she was young.
I am attempting the grid assignment today and planned to do it in my journal however I already didn't do it like Katie...which I don't care about except that I liked the idea of grid onto grid that she did.
S&H Green Stamps remind me of when my children were young, maybe even before they were born. I was forever going to the redemption center to get something for them, either for their care or for decorating their rooms. I remember getting a baby bottle set with instructions on how to clean and sterilize them. I think I also got a baby crib at some point for one of the girls. One could get a toaster or a coffee pot and even do Christmas shopping with the things as long as the center didn't run out of that particular gift.
Those times were fun. Just me looking forward to having my babies, making their baby food in my blender, brewing coffee in my Pyrex coffee pot, and feeding them with the free baby bottles.
My sister Pat and I were great with the green stamps as I remember, she would be able to get free stuff too so we were always looking at the catalogue, dreaming about what we could do and how we would do it when our kids were born.
Never did I think I would be writing about these happy times later in my life. At the time we struggled to make ends meet, we worked very hard to have our lives be positive, and the sense of purpose and importance made us so happy. At 66, I am very grateful for these memories.
She was thinking about familial memories and began with placing S&H Green Stamps onto her journal pages. This gave her the beginnings of the grid and took her to memories of sticking them into books for her mother when she was young.
I am attempting the grid assignment today and planned to do it in my journal however I already didn't do it like Katie...which I don't care about except that I liked the idea of grid onto grid that she did.
S&H Green Stamps remind me of when my children were young, maybe even before they were born. I was forever going to the redemption center to get something for them, either for their care or for decorating their rooms. I remember getting a baby bottle set with instructions on how to clean and sterilize them. I think I also got a baby crib at some point for one of the girls. One could get a toaster or a coffee pot and even do Christmas shopping with the things as long as the center didn't run out of that particular gift.
Those times were fun. Just me looking forward to having my babies, making their baby food in my blender, brewing coffee in my Pyrex coffee pot, and feeding them with the free baby bottles.
My sister Pat and I were great with the green stamps as I remember, she would be able to get free stuff too so we were always looking at the catalogue, dreaming about what we could do and how we would do it when our kids were born.
Never did I think I would be writing about these happy times later in my life. At the time we struggled to make ends meet, we worked very hard to have our lives be positive, and the sense of purpose and importance made us so happy. At 66, I am very grateful for these memories.
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Everett Loves It!
So this is "Two Trees, a House, a Garden, One Ocean and Two Boats" per Youngest Grandson's instructions.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Lovely Time of Year
And then there's the simple expression of what he would like from me. A painting, something to hang in his room or maybe just to have. After all! he has given me many of his works of art in the past, so now it's payback time.
"Two trees, one house, a garden, two boats, and one ocean" is what he requests. At first he says two oceans, but no I misunderstand...only one!
This little boy from his smile to his curly little ringlets of "orange" pasted on his head makes his Nana a better person.
Thank you Universe!
"Two trees, one house, a garden, two boats, and one ocean" is what he requests. At first he says two oceans, but no I misunderstand...only one!
This little boy from his smile to his curly little ringlets of "orange" pasted on his head makes his Nana a better person.
Thank you Universe!
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Voila!
Backlight
Another acrylic to add to my month of paintings.
I actually just finished this painting today; it was begun a few years ago. At the time I originally painted it, I was showing my art at the Sutter Creek Gallery. I was so intense at the time trying to do enough paintings to keep the exhibit fresh and different. For me it was no longer about the process but just churning out paintings to hang and sell. I sold quite a few, was busy and feeling good about keeping up with other artists and the numbers we were putting out there.
When I finally decided to let go of all of that and get back to the joy of creating, there were a few that had never sold. I didn't really like this one and didn't know why for a long time. I hung it in the bathroom where I could study it and after a year or so knew that the light was coming from behind the trees. I had painted them with sun shining all over the place and not much change in values. I have darkened them and tried to place some value changes on this side though they are dark...I like it much better.
So this small 11x14 took me oh maybe 3 years to paint. The preliminary work I did when I was showing and selling at the gallery. Today I finally added the finishing touches and voila!
Monday, April 13, 2015
You Can Change the World
I finally know I don't need to change the world. I know that I can do anything that I desire, but all that I desire is #1 to be a good wife and mother, be the best nana that I can be, and to live as truthful and authentic a life as I can possibly live.
For many years I heard from Youngest Daughter to stop trying to be JC. Her perception was that I was under the impression that I could do anything, change anything, and that I was always right, i.e. Jesus Christ. Of course I laughed that off for a while, years. Over time though I studied myself, hearing myself speak, seeing myself. I found that sometimes it wasn't what I said but the way I said it that created the idea that I knew all. I don't know all, never thought I knew all, and in fact I was forever faking it, playing the part of being educated and in control.
I think that when one has some measure of common sense, a small measure of knowledge and is street wise there is a certain way to be convincing enough to turn people's heads. Those heads don't want to think more than they have to so they decide to follow without question, or they question and one with the small measure of common sense, the small measure of knowledge and the street sense convinces them all is good. More heads follow, and more success is acquired by one who leads in this fashion.
Over time, one who leads gets convinced that she can do anything, change anything and her word is gospel.
One gets to be 65, has the wisdom to go back to her sacred promises to herself which were always to be a good wife and mother, be the best nana she could be, and to live truthfully and authentically. All the other side jobs that she thought she was so good at just sort of fall away to the ground something like petals on a wilted daisy.
For me the daisy is not dead yet, 3 petals are still hanging on.
For many years I heard from Youngest Daughter to stop trying to be JC. Her perception was that I was under the impression that I could do anything, change anything, and that I was always right, i.e. Jesus Christ. Of course I laughed that off for a while, years. Over time though I studied myself, hearing myself speak, seeing myself. I found that sometimes it wasn't what I said but the way I said it that created the idea that I knew all. I don't know all, never thought I knew all, and in fact I was forever faking it, playing the part of being educated and in control.
I think that when one has some measure of common sense, a small measure of knowledge and is street wise there is a certain way to be convincing enough to turn people's heads. Those heads don't want to think more than they have to so they decide to follow without question, or they question and one with the small measure of common sense, the small measure of knowledge and the street sense convinces them all is good. More heads follow, and more success is acquired by one who leads in this fashion.
Over time, one who leads gets convinced that she can do anything, change anything and her word is gospel.
One gets to be 65, has the wisdom to go back to her sacred promises to herself which were always to be a good wife and mother, be the best nana she could be, and to live truthfully and authentically. All the other side jobs that she thought she was so good at just sort of fall away to the ground something like petals on a wilted daisy.
For me the daisy is not dead yet, 3 petals are still hanging on.
Universal Balance
So we used the dung paper hearts to write our wishes on Easter Sunday.
First we all talked about being grateful, about all the items and times we have to be grateful for in our lives. It was at Annie and Mark's with Aunt Benny and all the kiddos, me and Papa. We talked about material things a little bit but how the spiritual parts of life are so much more valuable in the long scheme of things. I led the discussion and tried my best to share wisdom and my spirituality; however, I in no way think that I did a very good job at getting to everybody's innermost feelings. It's difficult to inspire especially for me when I forget half of what I want to say and get distracted so easily by minor things.
I had placed around the area in which we had gathered, burning incense. Also prior to our gathering, I had spread the smoke and heat of sage to cleanse the atmosphere of any negative and toxic ions. A few of the kids helped.
We all wrote on our dung paper hearts our wishes and/or reasons for being grateful, anything we wanted to share with the Universe was written on those pieces of paper. They did not have to be shown or shared with anybody else and we folded them and threw them in my clay pot which is used for any of the rituals I dream up in conjunction with the Universe. I had prepared the pot with a lighted coal tablet so that our precious pieces of paper would smolder up into the Universe.
A pagan ritual? Well I believe that Jesus, Mohammed, God, all the Buddhas, Mary Magdelen, and Judith, and all the men and women who have shared their wisdom here on Earth received our messages along with the animals, plants, and trees. We share them with the Universe, creating our plusses and minuses for balance.
First we all talked about being grateful, about all the items and times we have to be grateful for in our lives. It was at Annie and Mark's with Aunt Benny and all the kiddos, me and Papa. We talked about material things a little bit but how the spiritual parts of life are so much more valuable in the long scheme of things. I led the discussion and tried my best to share wisdom and my spirituality; however, I in no way think that I did a very good job at getting to everybody's innermost feelings. It's difficult to inspire especially for me when I forget half of what I want to say and get distracted so easily by minor things.
I had placed around the area in which we had gathered, burning incense. Also prior to our gathering, I had spread the smoke and heat of sage to cleanse the atmosphere of any negative and toxic ions. A few of the kids helped.
We all wrote on our dung paper hearts our wishes and/or reasons for being grateful, anything we wanted to share with the Universe was written on those pieces of paper. They did not have to be shown or shared with anybody else and we folded them and threw them in my clay pot which is used for any of the rituals I dream up in conjunction with the Universe. I had prepared the pot with a lighted coal tablet so that our precious pieces of paper would smolder up into the Universe.
A pagan ritual? Well I believe that Jesus, Mohammed, God, all the Buddhas, Mary Magdelen, and Judith, and all the men and women who have shared their wisdom here on Earth received our messages along with the animals, plants, and trees. We share them with the Universe, creating our plusses and minuses for balance.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Dung Paper Hearts
So! Grandsons gave me some note papers made out of elephant dung many years ago, a whole boxful. They're in the shape of hearts and so I kept the box in tact not using a one for probably 10 years. I think Zak was about 5 and Levi about 3. They thought it was so funny to give Nana some elephant dung, and also that they were hearts was the "loving" part of the gift...my interpretation as a loving nana in the world of nanas as only another nana would understand.
I kept this box of wonderfulness always on my desk where I keep my computer, iPad, iPhone all my important stuff that I use everyday so that I could see it all the time and smile and remember the wonderful feeling I had when these boys presented me with this gift. I actually would realize that feeling every time I would see it.
Finally a few months ago, I opened the box and used one of the pieces of paper. It's kinda scratchy but smooth in pinks, purples, and a beige. When one writes on it, one gets a feeling of really writing on almost a fiber like surface...not smooth and boring like regular paper. Then if one writes something on it that one needs to remember for a while, one can have the heart just looking at them until it is not needed anymore. One can also stack these precious pieces of paper on her desk and go through them when the need arises for the information written on them, or when one just wants to feel love.
I have only used about a third of the box of note papers, and am so excited when I think about still being able to enjoy them for some time to come.
Yay!
I kept this box of wonderfulness always on my desk where I keep my computer, iPad, iPhone all my important stuff that I use everyday so that I could see it all the time and smile and remember the wonderful feeling I had when these boys presented me with this gift. I actually would realize that feeling every time I would see it.
Finally a few months ago, I opened the box and used one of the pieces of paper. It's kinda scratchy but smooth in pinks, purples, and a beige. When one writes on it, one gets a feeling of really writing on almost a fiber like surface...not smooth and boring like regular paper. Then if one writes something on it that one needs to remember for a while, one can have the heart just looking at them until it is not needed anymore. One can also stack these precious pieces of paper on her desk and go through them when the need arises for the information written on them, or when one just wants to feel love.
I have only used about a third of the box of note papers, and am so excited when I think about still being able to enjoy them for some time to come.
Yay!
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Think tomorrow.
Almost the end of September and have I quit feeling sorry for myself yet? Mebbe, mebbe not! Yeah been feeling sorry for myself, can't paint worth a darn and don't know what my purpose for being on this earth is yet. It's not to paint a masterpiece, write a bestseller or be famous! I always thought I would be one of those...but I didn't do the work. I never bothered to go to college, wasn't urged by parents though how long can that be my excuse? Guess it has been my excuse up until now, now I am finding that I just did not want to put in the time and energy for school. I wanted to live in the moment which was so fun at the time, and I was a part of all of it...except the school, serious part.
I am not really sorry about my life, I am happy that I have done really everything I ever wanted, thought of, was told about, read about and I feel that I am one of the consciously aware of human power. I know what I can do in the world, with whom I can connect and with whom I am connected with on an ongoing basis. Maybe I wouldn't have achieved that if I had taken time for book learning'.
Still don't know my purpose. Think about it again tomorrow.
I am not really sorry about my life, I am happy that I have done really everything I ever wanted, thought of, was told about, read about and I feel that I am one of the consciously aware of human power. I know what I can do in the world, with whom I can connect and with whom I am connected with on an ongoing basis. Maybe I wouldn't have achieved that if I had taken time for book learning'.
Still don't know my purpose. Think about it again tomorrow.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
I WON'T be led by the nose!
I am so tired of being led by the nose by the political TV shows and pundits. Why aren't all the American people? Maybe it's just me in my household that is sooooo frustrated by the opinions of the Bill O'Reillys and Keith Obermanns of the world. Is this happening in other homes or just mine?
I see the people in Missouri demonstrating, picketing, and looting over the killing of a black kid by a white cop. I hear the pundits and people who have a mic before them spewing their opinions of the incident, then I see everyday people breaking in to businesses in the area. Now what is that about? The kid that was killed? The cop that killed him? The liquor store that was robbed before the kid was killed? How does this human behavior fix the problem, make whites love blacks and/or blacks love whites, or expedite the investigation into the situation so that blame can be placed where it needs to be placed?
And why do we sit in front of our television set and listen to the hogwash that is fed to us? One network is spewing a liberal opinion, another spews the conservative view. Is there no where to get news, just news without somebody sticking a hook into our noses to lead us around the mule track?
I say no there is not, not in this immediate news society. I am not watching it, I am saying right here and now if the rhetoric is going on in the television set in my house-- I am retreating to my art room or going to leave this house. I need peace, and I will get it.
I see the people in Missouri demonstrating, picketing, and looting over the killing of a black kid by a white cop. I hear the pundits and people who have a mic before them spewing their opinions of the incident, then I see everyday people breaking in to businesses in the area. Now what is that about? The kid that was killed? The cop that killed him? The liquor store that was robbed before the kid was killed? How does this human behavior fix the problem, make whites love blacks and/or blacks love whites, or expedite the investigation into the situation so that blame can be placed where it needs to be placed?
And why do we sit in front of our television set and listen to the hogwash that is fed to us? One network is spewing a liberal opinion, another spews the conservative view. Is there no where to get news, just news without somebody sticking a hook into our noses to lead us around the mule track?
I say no there is not, not in this immediate news society. I am not watching it, I am saying right here and now if the rhetoric is going on in the television set in my house-- I am retreating to my art room or going to leave this house. I need peace, and I will get it.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Gardening Grandma that Paints
Talk about cutting back? I have cut back from all outside sources of deadlines except for facials and hair stylist appointments. It became a chore to paint for the gallery, a chore to have to leave the house to go to the gallery, a chore to volunteer my time, a chore to go to meetings. Once I got to all of these places it was wonderful: painting at the gallery while working, showing and talking about art, finding out about trips and wonderful things that clubs do, what could be better? BUT once I became unhappy about walking into my art room to create, I knew that it was time to get back to basics.
The Gardening Grandma that Paints is really who I am at my core. GGtP enjoys being with her children, grandchildren and husband most of all in the world, just a meal together with conversation, or maybe a movie that everybody enjoys, we all went bowling once and that's a favorite memory. Second a GGtP cooking in her kitchen for a special occasion is probably my second most favorite thing. I love to plan the meal, get to a farmers market for fresh ingredients and then cook for hours in my kitchen listening to the music that I love. Even if it's just Papa and me for dinner, I really can be in my zone with this process. Oh! and third is gardening and that includes the planning of a nice arrangement in the yard all the way to the actual digging in the dirt. Of course planning includes a few trips to a favorite nursery to see what Scott has created, and then having lunch in the Conservatory with my best escort, Jack. Probably down the line in 4th place is shopping for this GGtP but only when she has money to spend (window shopping never my thing), and it's always fun to have a grandkid or two along on which to spend that money.
So! I haven't been in my art room to paint in a couple months now. Even drawing hasn't been appetizing...however, I woke up this morning with a fresh mind and with a little of my joy back. Did a little drawing out in the back yard.
Maybe I'll begin a small painting...maybe...Bobbie, breathe...1,2,3,4 hold, breathe...okay just a maybe for now.
The Gardening Grandma that Paints is really who I am at my core. GGtP enjoys being with her children, grandchildren and husband most of all in the world, just a meal together with conversation, or maybe a movie that everybody enjoys, we all went bowling once and that's a favorite memory. Second a GGtP cooking in her kitchen for a special occasion is probably my second most favorite thing. I love to plan the meal, get to a farmers market for fresh ingredients and then cook for hours in my kitchen listening to the music that I love. Even if it's just Papa and me for dinner, I really can be in my zone with this process. Oh! and third is gardening and that includes the planning of a nice arrangement in the yard all the way to the actual digging in the dirt. Of course planning includes a few trips to a favorite nursery to see what Scott has created, and then having lunch in the Conservatory with my best escort, Jack. Probably down the line in 4th place is shopping for this GGtP but only when she has money to spend (window shopping never my thing), and it's always fun to have a grandkid or two along on which to spend that money.
So! I haven't been in my art room to paint in a couple months now. Even drawing hasn't been appetizing...however, I woke up this morning with a fresh mind and with a little of my joy back. Did a little drawing out in the back yard.
Maybe I'll begin a small painting...maybe...Bobbie, breathe...1,2,3,4 hold, breathe...okay just a maybe for now.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Manipulating Ways
If one's life is never revealing who one truly is, then is there a perception that others that are truthful in their relationships are manipulating?
I keep thinking back to when a family member advised me that another family member had told her that I was master manipulating my husband. I wasn't insulted or even upset by the comment (maybe at first for a few solitary minutes) because I had been called that at another time in a written letter which I still possess. I stood back or close, don't remember, and I do remember pondering the comment in my head asking myself, "is that true?" My answer to the family member was yes, I guess I do manipulate my husband in the way that I negotiate for what I want and need. And further, he manipulates me right back. His and my desires and needs are met because we are honest with each other about what those might be, then the negotiation begins as to what we will give up or do for the other person in order for that process to happen. So yes, we love each other and want happiness for the other person along with ourselves so we are, we are both master manipulating.
I came right home and discussed this in detail with my husband. I told him of the conversation and how we were being perceived. He said that I could manipulate him any day of the week. I told him the same, and retreated to the kitchen to bake his favorite cherry pie.
In the other situation (the letter), I was accused of being a manipulating person in communicating with this woman's son who I felt was in need of a friend to answer his many queries and to just hear him rant. I never called him, he always called me and always wanted my counsel which I shared at first in a very mild and kind way. When he didn't understand what I perceived as his faults I began to be more honest in a semi-mild way which was unacceptable to him at which time his mother felt the need to threaten me into no contact with her son which was easy because he no longer called me and when we saw each other we did not speak. I never responded to dear Mom to inform her of the son's attempt at manipulating me with his phone calls and conversation. I just knew I had done nothing wrong taking this young man's calls in an effort to ease his pain and at one point advising him to search for professional help (I was in fear that he was depressed enough to hurt himself in some way). These phone calls often ended with me in tears, torn that I may have been giving bad advice. Many times I discussed these conversations with Jack in an effort to determine if I had done harm in any way.
I am probably very good at making excuses, or rationalizing and if it's true I can take responsibility for it. I only know that my truth is what guides me, I am as authentic and honest as I can be at 65 years old.
Now baking a cherry pie for my husband makes him happy for 2 weeks. In those 2 weeks I see that he has a twinkle in his eye that is not always there at 81 years old, and of course he is nicer and easier to get along with. Do I do it for the treatment if affords me or for the twinkle? I let the reader decide.
I know my truth.
I keep thinking back to when a family member advised me that another family member had told her that I was master manipulating my husband. I wasn't insulted or even upset by the comment (maybe at first for a few solitary minutes) because I had been called that at another time in a written letter which I still possess. I stood back or close, don't remember, and I do remember pondering the comment in my head asking myself, "is that true?" My answer to the family member was yes, I guess I do manipulate my husband in the way that I negotiate for what I want and need. And further, he manipulates me right back. His and my desires and needs are met because we are honest with each other about what those might be, then the negotiation begins as to what we will give up or do for the other person in order for that process to happen. So yes, we love each other and want happiness for the other person along with ourselves so we are, we are both master manipulating.
I came right home and discussed this in detail with my husband. I told him of the conversation and how we were being perceived. He said that I could manipulate him any day of the week. I told him the same, and retreated to the kitchen to bake his favorite cherry pie.
In the other situation (the letter), I was accused of being a manipulating person in communicating with this woman's son who I felt was in need of a friend to answer his many queries and to just hear him rant. I never called him, he always called me and always wanted my counsel which I shared at first in a very mild and kind way. When he didn't understand what I perceived as his faults I began to be more honest in a semi-mild way which was unacceptable to him at which time his mother felt the need to threaten me into no contact with her son which was easy because he no longer called me and when we saw each other we did not speak. I never responded to dear Mom to inform her of the son's attempt at manipulating me with his phone calls and conversation. I just knew I had done nothing wrong taking this young man's calls in an effort to ease his pain and at one point advising him to search for professional help (I was in fear that he was depressed enough to hurt himself in some way). These phone calls often ended with me in tears, torn that I may have been giving bad advice. Many times I discussed these conversations with Jack in an effort to determine if I had done harm in any way.
I am probably very good at making excuses, or rationalizing and if it's true I can take responsibility for it. I only know that my truth is what guides me, I am as authentic and honest as I can be at 65 years old.
Now baking a cherry pie for my husband makes him happy for 2 weeks. In those 2 weeks I see that he has a twinkle in his eye that is not always there at 81 years old, and of course he is nicer and easier to get along with. Do I do it for the treatment if affords me or for the twinkle? I let the reader decide.
I know my truth.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Yay! Art Fiestas are fun for the Buyers, not so much for the Vendors
So did the Art Fiesta Festival which I have adored going to since I moved here to NorCal. My artist friend was a regular of this show and always did well. On a whim I applied this year and was accepted based on 3 images of my latest landscapes. This which I am now considering "My last art hurrah" wasn't much of a yay! but instead a kind of a low and uninspiring adieu.
First, I loved so much of the two days... conversing with artists, meeting them and getting to know how they came to their particular expertize, hours of people watching and just kind of enjoying the ambience of the whole show. Music on Day 1 was loud enough for me to enjoy and was a kind of Cubana salsa type. I sold a piece, Miller Park, to a wonderful gal...works for DA's office, a homicide attorney with a great haircut asymmetrical short on one side...adorable friendly and energetic young woman. Coffee from Insight Coffee House was wonderful. Doing some shopping getting to die for gifts for friends and family.
Now there was stress involved for which I really wasn't prepared; a lot of thinking how to do it, wondering whether or not I would remember everything that I would need while there, hoping SQUARE would work for all of my credit card sales, etc. At first, I was feeling confident that I could do this on my own, alone and knowing my set up stuff and art would fit in the car, etc. and then not feeling confident at the last moment which I could have been okay with had the air temperature not been upwards of 104 degrees with my 10x10" area being in the sun all day. AND the one sale I did make was paid for by check so what was all he SQUARE stress about? I mean really??? LOL
For now I have decided to retire for the second time: taking a year to put ME and my family first, a year to enjoy my garden, redecorate my kitchen, and cook some really great meals.
It will also be a good time to get rid of old art that bugs me every time I see it, and discover which direction my painting should take if and when I get back into it.
Yay!
First, I loved so much of the two days... conversing with artists, meeting them and getting to know how they came to their particular expertize, hours of people watching and just kind of enjoying the ambience of the whole show. Music on Day 1 was loud enough for me to enjoy and was a kind of Cubana salsa type. I sold a piece, Miller Park, to a wonderful gal...works for DA's office, a homicide attorney with a great haircut asymmetrical short on one side...adorable friendly and energetic young woman. Coffee from Insight Coffee House was wonderful. Doing some shopping getting to die for gifts for friends and family.
Now there was stress involved for which I really wasn't prepared; a lot of thinking how to do it, wondering whether or not I would remember everything that I would need while there, hoping SQUARE would work for all of my credit card sales, etc. At first, I was feeling confident that I could do this on my own, alone and knowing my set up stuff and art would fit in the car, etc. and then not feeling confident at the last moment which I could have been okay with had the air temperature not been upwards of 104 degrees with my 10x10" area being in the sun all day. AND the one sale I did make was paid for by check so what was all he SQUARE stress about? I mean really??? LOL
It will also be a good time to get rid of old art that bugs me every time I see it, and discover which direction my painting should take if and when I get back into it.
Yay!
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Opting for Change
At my window this Wednesday morning I am having thoughts of cleaning the clutter in my mind. To do that I must let go of some activities in my life that I still enjoy but are becoming too difficult to maintain. In reading about the brain I understand that something one enjoys the first time it is done turns on all kinds of lights and whistles in the pleasure zone, subsequent times the activity is accomplished only diminishes that first experience. I believe once that happens to the point where it becomes rote, one should let go to begin anew.
Change is not something humans enjoy. The comfort zone is forever awakened from its comfortable and enjoyable sleep to step into new territory thereby allowing for a new brain wave, extension, wire, or whatever we want to call it. It may seem difficult to the human at first, however one never knows what new lights and whistles will be turned on and there, there is where joy happens I believe.
So, I am keeping my priorities fresh. I am opting for change.
Change is not something humans enjoy. The comfort zone is forever awakened from its comfortable and enjoyable sleep to step into new territory thereby allowing for a new brain wave, extension, wire, or whatever we want to call it. It may seem difficult to the human at first, however one never knows what new lights and whistles will be turned on and there, there is where joy happens I believe.
So, I am keeping my priorities fresh. I am opting for change.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Sunday Thoughts
At my window this Sunday morning, all I have is to be grateful for all of my blessings. Jack and I love our home, our garden, our friends here in our neighborhood. We also have loverly friends outside of our neighborhood, more like family. We are so grateful for all of those.
For me, I am grateful for my husband and his loving ways. He is my rock to lean on when I am weak and tired, he is my muse, my one-man appreciation party. Without make-up, without clothes, when I am at my meanest...my husband still sees the good me and loves me.
I am grateful for my daughters; they are my touch stones, my links to my past and the reasons for my pride. I learn from them everyday, they love me with all my warts and pimples and enough to share the honesty that keeps me sane.
The grandkids let me get out my inner-child and feel the freedom that brings me. They love the stories that only I can tell, and when I am with them we share my memories and their interpretations which always leads to laughter and contentment. I am so grateful for the ideas and profound lessons I learn from them.
I am also so grateful for Jack's kids. They share stories of Jack's earlier life, and they carry so many of their dad's traits, tastes and emotions. It's a pleasure to see and feel life as they do. Their children also bring out my inner child and we share the love that only an extra grandma can bring.
The material things? I am grateful for material things, they help to form who I am. The thought that if I lose my material possessisons, I will be burdened with finding out who I am without them, never is far away. BUT I also know that I will be grateful when/if that time comes...and it may not be a burden but a new adventure for me.
For me, I am grateful for my husband and his loving ways. He is my rock to lean on when I am weak and tired, he is my muse, my one-man appreciation party. Without make-up, without clothes, when I am at my meanest...my husband still sees the good me and loves me.
I am grateful for my daughters; they are my touch stones, my links to my past and the reasons for my pride. I learn from them everyday, they love me with all my warts and pimples and enough to share the honesty that keeps me sane.
The grandkids let me get out my inner-child and feel the freedom that brings me. They love the stories that only I can tell, and when I am with them we share my memories and their interpretations which always leads to laughter and contentment. I am so grateful for the ideas and profound lessons I learn from them.
I am also so grateful for Jack's kids. They share stories of Jack's earlier life, and they carry so many of their dad's traits, tastes and emotions. It's a pleasure to see and feel life as they do. Their children also bring out my inner child and we share the love that only an extra grandma can bring.
The material things? I am grateful for material things, they help to form who I am. The thought that if I lose my material possessisons, I will be burdened with finding out who I am without them, never is far away. BUT I also know that I will be grateful when/if that time comes...and it may not be a burden but a new adventure for me.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Best of Christmas was in February
and here's Zak and me, Levi took the pic.
We had a really good time. We had tons of food, first an appetizer of nachos with something weird on the top, maybe shrimp and a sauce. Zak had some pasta with sauces, broccoli and of course the yummy bread which Levi and me wanted and Zak didn't. Levi ordered shrimp grilled on a skewer and ate those up pretty darn quick with mashed potatoes. Levi and I are enjoying the soft, delicious morsels of biscuits that were brought to us when Levi tells Zak to try just a tiny piece which he did...then he (Zak) polished off the rest of the biscuits--we had to get more!
So lunch took about two hours since we are never in a great rush, the three of us. We made it over to the mall to look for clothes for Zak, apparently he needed shirts for school and Levi has plenty but he found a pillow that is awesome. We ended up with 3 shirts and 2 pants and I don't know what else, the pillow for Levi and some kind of magical thing for Zak for which he wanted to pay me back but I said no...each kid had to get a prize with Nana.
What a great day! The best Christmas present I have received thus far in my life. I am a lucky Nana and a happy one...breathing awesomely as I think of that day and my loverly boys.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Besties, Holidays and the Rain
So I am finally in the mood again to write down my thoughts. Holidays are fun and meaningful, filled with friends and family and mostly the interruption into our regular scheduled lives is welcome; however for me, once the excitement passes I am ready to get back to the uneventfulness of my life now. And then of course we lost a very close sister, Jack's oldest sister really, and the suddenness of the event was very disrespectful though the part we played in the scenario was good for my husband in that he became very cognizant of family love and all the meanings surrounding it.
Today I am off to the Crocker with bestie Margot. We will have a wonderful day as always when we are together. We will finish one another's sentences, laugh at the same things and love the same things.
Rain began last night after no rain yet this year, so for so many reasons I will be breathing steadily an well.
Today I am off to the Crocker with bestie Margot. We will have a wonderful day as always when we are together. We will finish one another's sentences, laugh at the same things and love the same things.
Rain began last night after no rain yet this year, so for so many reasons I will be breathing steadily an well.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Visiting the View Out of Other Windows
New windows are very exciting, and even better are windows that we visit every so often. We can reunite with sights, feelings, and stories that feed our souls.
Visiting family that are not close by is something we tend to every few months. It's so envigorating to be around young people-- they are going to work and school, telling us about their present victories, accomplishments, experiences all while we are in their environment which is so different than ours. After all, there are the family pets, the stash of morning cereals that are not bought with fiber being the main ingredient, the television programs that are not newsworthy, the timetables and schedules that are a must to everybody but we retired folks.
After a few days of being with these loved ones, of enjoying what they enjoy and seeing things through their eyes, we will be refreshed again and ready to return to our fiber filled cereals and easy listening music.
Right now though we are excitedly awaiting a school bus to drop off our charges. What will we do with them once they are in our midst? Perhaps a movie? Whatever it is, I anticipate some lovely smiles and feelings of love all around me.
Friday, October 4, 2013
October Already?
Wind softly blows the leaves and dirt around the patio, the trees lightly dance proclaiming their part in this wondrous dance that nature does, and I sit before my window enjoying...peacefully enjoying.
Of course there is chaos in the world: a government shut down, the crazy antics of the celebrity elite, a disaster somewhere. Then there are the many stories of common humankind just living or trying to live. Each of these is a dance choreographed in a different way, the media has a part in focusing on the sensationalism that is their forte' so that we get glimpses of what is extraordinary, not real, possibly not true and if true not always something to be proud. Maybe with that somehow we can feel the power in being just us (common humankind) doing our own individual dance.
Each one of us creates our own dance that we get to choreograph through experiences, creating, teaching, wondering, learning, helping, rescuing, etc. We can choose then each day what our dance will be.
Today I am enjoying the wind, sun, trees, birds, my Jacky and my friends...just keepin' it simple breathing, yes breathing, loving each breath.
Of course there is chaos in the world: a government shut down, the crazy antics of the celebrity elite, a disaster somewhere. Then there are the many stories of common humankind just living or trying to live. Each of these is a dance choreographed in a different way, the media has a part in focusing on the sensationalism that is their forte' so that we get glimpses of what is extraordinary, not real, possibly not true and if true not always something to be proud. Maybe with that somehow we can feel the power in being just us (common humankind) doing our own individual dance.
Each one of us creates our own dance that we get to choreograph through experiences, creating, teaching, wondering, learning, helping, rescuing, etc. We can choose then each day what our dance will be.
Today I am enjoying the wind, sun, trees, birds, my Jacky and my friends...just keepin' it simple breathing, yes breathing, loving each breath.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Joy
So it's Thursday, nothing on my calendar except Felipe and Natalya. So by the end of today our house should be clean and the yard picked up and de-weeded. Yay!
Checking email this morning and I have 100-something incoming so I want to go through those and read all the art blogs I subscribe to, tend to those matters pending, and write to a person Anje has referred me to who is having an art thingee this summer and wants artists to participate. So, good day for busy work and maybe will do some painting.
I sometimes wonder how I got here, to this place in my life. I recall my past; growing up as a shy, and really introverted girl, marrying young her first boyfriend, then having children because that's the next step, then taking back her independence to reclaim some sense of herself without others directing her life.
Fast forward to 2013 and I have my knight in shining armor, 2 wonderful daughters that I am so proud of, and I am authentically me. Why do I get this life? I think anyone can have it. It's the attitude, the attitude of finding joy in everything one experiences.
Checking email this morning and I have 100-something incoming so I want to go through those and read all the art blogs I subscribe to, tend to those matters pending, and write to a person Anje has referred me to who is having an art thingee this summer and wants artists to participate. So, good day for busy work and maybe will do some painting.
I sometimes wonder how I got here, to this place in my life. I recall my past; growing up as a shy, and really introverted girl, marrying young her first boyfriend, then having children because that's the next step, then taking back her independence to reclaim some sense of herself without others directing her life.
Fast forward to 2013 and I have my knight in shining armor, 2 wonderful daughters that I am so proud of, and I am authentically me. Why do I get this life? I think anyone can have it. It's the attitude, the attitude of finding joy in everything one experiences.
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