Today as I sit outside in the privacy of my patio, I am enjoying "Blue Skies" the song, being played by my neighbor on her harmonica. I think possibly she's rehearsing for something that she'll be doing with the Harmonicoots, an entertainment group here at SCR. Now she's onto The Music Man.
So about a week ago, I was out here complaining to Oldest Daughter about the "noise" from next door. I must have been in such a terrible state to be enjoying that negative attitude and condescending comment. Now I remember Bene' telling me that it was a nice sound which stopped my complaining and then me tucking the scenario away for another time. I guess I knew when my attitude was joyful again I would be able to appreciate this gift from the Universe.
Now I hear somebody's blower rrrreewwwwwwww, rrrrrrrreewwwwwww, and I am fine with it. It's the sound of life, of somebody doing their job, of a yard being clean, of a neighbor participating in this dance, this dance we all do: Life
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Oak Park, Friends and Art
Off to Oak Park today to paint with friends. There's a street festival there every year and since I am in Patris' gallery there, I like to go out and participate. It's a very happy group of residents that get together with music, food and art and welcome everyone and anyone to gather and do art, make art, be art!
I am going to take a sketch pad and some watercolor pens and just do some art out in the sunshine.
Of course Jack is disappointed that I am going away again today after being gone yesterday, but this has been planned for a while. It's my event away from home with my art so I am desperately trying to get in the car and go without guilt. Why the guilt? Am I not worthy of going away for my art at least once a week? I am worthy.
Off I go with Peawee's top down, breathing freely all the way.
I am going to take a sketch pad and some watercolor pens and just do some art out in the sunshine.
Of course Jack is disappointed that I am going away again today after being gone yesterday, but this has been planned for a while. It's my event away from home with my art so I am desperately trying to get in the car and go without guilt. Why the guilt? Am I not worthy of going away for my art at least once a week? I am worthy.
Off I go with Peawee's top down, breathing freely all the way.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Lessons from the Universe
A writing from January:
I sometimes wonder what the lesson is...that is, what is the Universe trying to tell me. Is it my lesson or is it for somebody else that is involved in the scenario? Is it a lesson for now or is it a lesson for the future and if it is for the future, will I realize it then and not now?
Got up at 4am today and really didn't fall asleep til late. Frost covers the gold Course outside of my window this morning and it's 8am now. The maintenance guys are going by in their tractors and mowers getting ready to finely manicure the grounds. Another day begins and with it another day of severe cold here in Northern California. Of course I already feel like it's lunchtime.
"Regrets and fears," Jack says, "are what we humans sometimes pay too much attention." And yes those are what keep us from being right here in the moment, and then how can we listen to the Universe?
I sometimes wonder what the lesson is...that is, what is the Universe trying to tell me. Is it my lesson or is it for somebody else that is involved in the scenario? Is it a lesson for now or is it a lesson for the future and if it is for the future, will I realize it then and not now?
Got up at 4am today and really didn't fall asleep til late. Frost covers the gold Course outside of my window this morning and it's 8am now. The maintenance guys are going by in their tractors and mowers getting ready to finely manicure the grounds. Another day begins and with it another day of severe cold here in Northern California. Of course I already feel like it's lunchtime.
"Regrets and fears," Jack says, "are what we humans sometimes pay too much attention." And yes those are what keep us from being right here in the moment, and then how can we listen to the Universe?
Love and the Ocean
A writing from January:
I'm not at my window but at a window located at the seashore. I can see the crashing waves, families on their way to somewhere, and dogs out for a walk with their people. It's cold out there, lotsa hoodies on up over the heads and hardly anyone is wearing flip flops! Oh and there're bikeriders with caps on, the tight fitting knitted kind.
How lovely to hear the waves, breathe in the smells, and feel the vastness of the ocean. As I take it all in, I wonder about the whales and the dolphins and how we are connected. I wonder about the young couple on the footbridge outside. He is snapping a picture of her and she's fat, swollen with a baby...new life. Are they happy, content, afraid or thinking about the whales as I am? Now he's striking a GQ pose looking out to sea while she snaps him. Are they in love? Is it forever love? Do whales love?
I'm not at my window but at a window located at the seashore. I can see the crashing waves, families on their way to somewhere, and dogs out for a walk with their people. It's cold out there, lotsa hoodies on up over the heads and hardly anyone is wearing flip flops! Oh and there're bikeriders with caps on, the tight fitting knitted kind.
How lovely to hear the waves, breathe in the smells, and feel the vastness of the ocean. As I take it all in, I wonder about the whales and the dolphins and how we are connected. I wonder about the young couple on the footbridge outside. He is snapping a picture of her and she's fat, swollen with a baby...new life. Are they happy, content, afraid or thinking about the whales as I am? Now he's striking a GQ pose looking out to sea while she snaps him. Are they in love? Is it forever love? Do whales love?
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Thank You U, and U, and U
Another Sunday to enjoy the birds chatter; smell the fresh morning dew on the grass; and taste my creamy, rich cup of coffee while AT MY WINDOW enjoying the elegant view.
Of course the image I am sharing is not of the elegant golf course but of a couple pots of geraniums and my rose bush that are right outside my window, and really they are so pretty against the backdrop of grass, trees and nature.
We enjoyed yesterday so much with kids and grandkids. We grilled meats and veges, then hopped into the hot tub for an afternoon of conversation and laughter. Papa mostly watched baseball on t.v. because checking in with us every little while to keep himself in the mix, sorta. He's not a social animal, and really a little introverted in this his 80th year. Of course we had Everett to keep our attention the whole afternoon. He is the extrovert in this group and always sooo busy.
I am a lucky woman, and I say lucky because a couple of times in my life I made some good choices and I don't remember consciously making them but they just sorta happened. Of course it doesn't escape me that I have the life I always dreamed of having so somebody orchestrated events for me to have this third act. Me and the Universe, we are good together. Thank you Universe!
Of course the image I am sharing is not of the elegant golf course but of a couple pots of geraniums and my rose bush that are right outside my window, and really they are so pretty against the backdrop of grass, trees and nature.
We enjoyed yesterday so much with kids and grandkids. We grilled meats and veges, then hopped into the hot tub for an afternoon of conversation and laughter. Papa mostly watched baseball on t.v. because checking in with us every little while to keep himself in the mix, sorta. He's not a social animal, and really a little introverted in this his 80th year. Of course we had Everett to keep our attention the whole afternoon. He is the extrovert in this group and always sooo busy.
I am a lucky woman, and I say lucky because a couple of times in my life I made some good choices and I don't remember consciously making them but they just sorta happened. Of course it doesn't escape me that I have the life I always dreamed of having so somebody orchestrated events for me to have this third act. Me and the Universe, we are good together. Thank you Universe!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Roses and Dad
Beautiful outside already, 7:30am, and I love that about Northern California. There's no morning uck to burn off before sunniness is around us. The trees in the distance have long shadows on the fairway and all the green is back after the grays and emptiness of the winter. Thank you Universe for this lovely day and for the sound sleep I enjoyed last night.
I see that my one rose bush has about 8 buds beginning to burst. Dad's had his influence on that bush, I feel his presence everytime I see home grown roses. You know the ones I mean: they're not perfect, kinda floppy but intense in color and the fragrance fills one's head, and immediatly one knows they were not produced in a controlled environment but left to be a part of nature.
Love you Dad.
I see that my one rose bush has about 8 buds beginning to burst. Dad's had his influence on that bush, I feel his presence everytime I see home grown roses. You know the ones I mean: they're not perfect, kinda floppy but intense in color and the fragrance fills one's head, and immediatly one knows they were not produced in a controlled environment but left to be a part of nature.
Love you Dad.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
A Tree
Sunday already at my window and today I just want to talk about my window, well not the actual window but the view outside of it.
Today my focus is on a tree that is on the other side of the fairway growing at the edge of the creek that runs there. It is sooo green, you know a true grass green and darker on the right shadowy side. Then the branches that come this way are bathed in sunlight and One can make out the small leaves, the shapes of the clusters of leaves with the color becoming a more yellow-green at the tips on the left sides of the clusters. Of course there are many values of the greens beginning darker in the shadows. The left side of the tree is again in shadow because there is mure shrubbery growing to the left placing that side in the cast shadow. The trunk almost disappears into the shadows underneath the tree and when I focus there I see that there are other trunks barely visible that belong to trees that are located behind this front one.
I love this view; the simpleness of the tree, the complexity of the tree. From a distance it is lovely, stoic and standing to provide beauty and shade. If we walk over to it we realize it is home to so many birds, lizards, flying insects, crawling insects, living things tnat we don't even see. If we study trees we find that they help provide our air, create habitat for larger animals like squirrels amd skunks etc.
For me, I sit and ponder this tree and try to get into its wisdom, into just being here like the tree for we are the same on so many levels. We are created from the same beginning cosmic cell conspiracy, we are on earth to live together not communicating with words but there is spiritual connection, there is so much to be learned from this tree. Thank you Universe for this tree.
Today my focus is on a tree that is on the other side of the fairway growing at the edge of the creek that runs there. It is sooo green, you know a true grass green and darker on the right shadowy side. Then the branches that come this way are bathed in sunlight and One can make out the small leaves, the shapes of the clusters of leaves with the color becoming a more yellow-green at the tips on the left sides of the clusters. Of course there are many values of the greens beginning darker in the shadows. The left side of the tree is again in shadow because there is mure shrubbery growing to the left placing that side in the cast shadow. The trunk almost disappears into the shadows underneath the tree and when I focus there I see that there are other trunks barely visible that belong to trees that are located behind this front one.
I love this view; the simpleness of the tree, the complexity of the tree. From a distance it is lovely, stoic and standing to provide beauty and shade. If we walk over to it we realize it is home to so many birds, lizards, flying insects, crawling insects, living things tnat we don't even see. If we study trees we find that they help provide our air, create habitat for larger animals like squirrels amd skunks etc.
For me, I sit and ponder this tree and try to get into its wisdom, into just being here like the tree for we are the same on so many levels. We are created from the same beginning cosmic cell conspiracy, we are on earth to live together not communicating with words but there is spiritual connection, there is so much to be learned from this tree. Thank you Universe for this tree.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Hurtful Words
It's dark outside my window this morning, 6 a.m., and I'm hoping for a nice day out at the flea market.
My thoughts last night in my dreams were of things that I say and that I don't mean, ways that others can misinterpret my intentions. Well not even misinterpret because I can say out loud a condescending statement but in my head there are so many caveats, I actually do not mean what has come out of my mouth. Because the further explanation is in my head, I don't really think further words out loud are necessary at the time. The person to whom I'm speaking is usually too polite to ask for more information and just respond with a smile or laugh. It's only later that I realize the harsh words that I really did not mean. By then it is too late, the moment has passed.
Of course sometimes Jack does react in a hurt angry way to something I have said to him. Then I am awakened to my hurtful, inappropriate comments with his promise to not talk to me anymore. We argue because he must make me understand how my words did not convey my thoughts appropriately, and then we go on-- him being far more forgiving than I am.
I actually awoke a couple times last night with remembeances of a few of the harsh, hurtful things I have said out loud. Can it be possible with my owning this behavior in this blog that I can change my future conversations? We, me and my soul, can only try and then do our best.
My thoughts last night in my dreams were of things that I say and that I don't mean, ways that others can misinterpret my intentions. Well not even misinterpret because I can say out loud a condescending statement but in my head there are so many caveats, I actually do not mean what has come out of my mouth. Because the further explanation is in my head, I don't really think further words out loud are necessary at the time. The person to whom I'm speaking is usually too polite to ask for more information and just respond with a smile or laugh. It's only later that I realize the harsh words that I really did not mean. By then it is too late, the moment has passed.
Of course sometimes Jack does react in a hurt angry way to something I have said to him. Then I am awakened to my hurtful, inappropriate comments with his promise to not talk to me anymore. We argue because he must make me understand how my words did not convey my thoughts appropriately, and then we go on-- him being far more forgiving than I am.
I actually awoke a couple times last night with remembeances of a few of the harsh, hurtful things I have said out loud. Can it be possible with my owning this behavior in this blog that I can change my future conversations? We, me and my soul, can only try and then do our best.
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