I finally know I don't need to change the world. I know that I can do anything that I desire, but all that I desire is #1 to be a good wife and mother, be the best nana that I can be, and to live as truthful and authentic a life as I can possibly live.
For many years I heard from Youngest Daughter to stop trying to be JC. Her perception was that I was under the impression that I could do anything, change anything, and that I was always right, i.e. Jesus Christ. Of course I laughed that off for a while, years. Over time though I studied myself, hearing myself speak, seeing myself. I found that sometimes it wasn't what I said but the way I said it that created the idea that I knew all. I don't know all, never thought I knew all, and in fact I was forever faking it, playing the part of being educated and in control.
I think that when one has some measure of common sense, a small measure of knowledge and is street wise there is a certain way to be convincing enough to turn people's heads. Those heads don't want to think more than they have to so they decide to follow without question, or they question and one with the small measure of common sense, the small measure of knowledge and the street sense convinces them all is good. More heads follow, and more success is acquired by one who leads in this fashion.
Over time, one who leads gets convinced that she can do anything, change anything and her word is gospel.
One gets to be 65, has the wisdom to go back to her sacred promises to herself which were always to be a good wife and mother, be the best nana she could be, and to live truthfully and authentically. All the other side jobs that she thought she was so good at just sort of fall away to the ground something like petals on a wilted daisy.
For me the daisy is not dead yet, 3 petals are still hanging on.
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