Sunday Thoughts

At my window this Sunday morning, all I have is to be grateful for all of my blessings.  Jack and I love our home, our garden, our friends here in our neighborhood.  We also have loverly friends outside of our neighborhood, more like family.  We are so grateful for all of those.

For me, I am grateful for my husband and his loving ways.  He is my rock to lean on when I am weak and tired, he is my muse, my one-man appreciation party.  Without make-up, without clothes, when I am at my meanest...my husband still sees the good me and loves me.

I am grateful for my daughters; they are my touch stones, my links to my past and the reasons for my pride.  I learn from them everyday, they love me with all my warts and pimples and enough to share the honesty that keeps me sane.

The grandkids let me get out my inner-child and feel the freedom that brings me.  They love the stories that only I can tell, and when I am with them we share my memories and their interpretations which always leads to laughter and contentment.  I am so grateful for the ideas and profound lessons I learn from them.

I am also so grateful for Jack's kids.  They share stories of  Jack's earlier life, and they carry so many of their dad's traits, tastes and emotions.  It's a pleasure to see and feel life as they do.  Their children also bring out my inner child and we share the love that only an extra grandma can bring.

The material things?  I am grateful for material things, they help to form who I am.  The thought that if I lose my material possessisons, I will be burdened with finding out who I am without them, never is far away.  BUT I  also know that I will be grateful when/if that time comes...and it may not be a burden but a new adventure for me.

Best of Christmas was in February

Yep so for Christmas, two of my boys gave me a date with them for dinner at Red Lobster.  So recently we did it.  Here's Levi above,



and here's Zak and me, Levi took the pic.

We had a really good time.  We had tons of food, first an appetizer of nachos with something weird on the top, maybe shrimp and a sauce.  Zak had some pasta with sauces, broccoli and of course the yummy bread which Levi and me wanted and Zak didn't.  Levi ordered shrimp grilled on a skewer and ate those up pretty darn quick with mashed potatoes.  Levi and I are enjoying the soft, delicious morsels of biscuits that were brought to us when Levi tells Zak to try just a tiny piece which he did...then he (Zak) polished off the rest of the biscuits--we had to get more!

So lunch took about two hours since we are never in a great rush, the three of us.  We made it over to the mall to look for clothes for Zak, apparently he needed shirts for school and Levi has plenty but he found a pillow that is awesome.  We ended up with 3 shirts and 2 pants and I don't know what else, the pillow for Levi and some kind of magical thing for Zak for which he wanted to pay me back but I said no...each kid had to get a prize with Nana.

What a great day!  The best Christmas present I have received thus far in my life.  I am a lucky Nana and a happy one...breathing awesomely as I think of that day and my loverly boys.

Besties, Holidays and the Rain

So I am finally in the mood again to write down my thoughts.  Holidays are fun and meaningful, filled with friends and family and mostly the interruption into our regular scheduled lives is welcome; however for me, once the excitement passes I am ready to get back to the uneventfulness of my life now. And then of course we lost a very close sister, Jack's oldest sister really, and the suddenness of the event was very disrespectful though the part we played in the scenario was good for my husband in that he became very cognizant of family love and all the meanings surrounding it.

Today I am off to the Crocker with bestie Margot.  We will have a wonderful day as always when we are together.  We will finish one another's sentences, laugh at the same things and love the same things.

Rain began last night after no rain yet this year, so for so many reasons I will be breathing steadily an well.

Visiting the View Out of Other Windows

New windows are very exciting, and even better are windows that we visit every so often.  We can reunite with sights, feelings, and stories that feed our souls.  

Visiting family that are not close by is something we tend to every few months.  It's so envigorating to be around young people-- they are going to work and school, telling us about their present victories, accomplishments, experiences all while we are in their environment which is so different than ours.  After all, there are the family pets, the stash of morning cereals that are not bought with fiber being the main ingredient, the television programs that are not newsworthy, the timetables and schedules that are a must to everybody but we retired folks.  

After a few days of being with these loved ones,  of enjoying what they enjoy and seeing things through their eyes, we will be refreshed again and ready to return to our fiber filled cereals and easy listening music.  

Right now though we are excitedly awaiting a school bus to drop off our charges.  What will we do with them once they are in our midst?  Perhaps a movie?  Whatever it is, I anticipate some lovely smiles and feelings of love all around me.

October Already?

Wind softly blows the leaves and dirt around the patio, the trees lightly dance proclaiming their part in this wondrous dance that nature does, and I sit before my window enjoying...peacefully enjoying.

Of course there is chaos in the world: a government shut down, the crazy antics of the celebrity elite, a disaster somewhere.  Then there are the many stories of common humankind just living or trying to live.  Each of these is a dance choreographed in a different way, the media has a part in focusing on the sensationalism that is their forte' so that we get glimpses of what is extraordinary, not real, possibly not true and if true not always something to be proud.  Maybe with that somehow we can feel the power in being just us (common humankind) doing our own individual dance.

Each one of us creates our own dance that we get to choreograph through experiences, creating, teaching, wondering, learning, helping, rescuing, etc.  We can choose then each day what our dance will be.

Today I am enjoying the wind, sun, trees, birds, my Jacky and my friends...just keepin' it simple breathing, yes breathing, loving each breath.

Joy

So it's Thursday, nothing on my calendar except Felipe and Natalya.  So by the end of today our house should be clean and the yard picked up and de-weeded.  Yay!

Checking email this morning and I have 100-something incoming so I want to go through those and read all the art blogs I subscribe to, tend to those matters pending, and write to a person Anje has referred me to who is having an art thingee this summer and wants artists to participate.  So, good day for busy work and maybe will do some painting.

I sometimes wonder how I got here, to this place in my life.  I recall my past; growing up as a shy, and really introverted girl, marrying young her first boyfriend, then having children because that's the next step, then taking back her independence to reclaim some sense of herself without others directing her life.

Fast forward to 2013 and I have my knight in shining armor, 2 wonderful daughters that I am so proud of, and I am authentically me.  Why do I get this life?  I think anyone can have it.  It's the attitude, the attitude of finding joy in everything one experiences.

Aha Again

At my window today, I remember yesterday...which began a little less than ideally.  I overslept first of all til 8:30 which I never, ever do.  I wanted to be at SC Gallery by 10, but thought if I was there by 11 would be okay as that's the opening time.  Not true, opening time is 10 on Sundays BUT somebody else had opened so I got on with my day.

That isn't the story here though, the story is the Aha moment I had...me 'n the Universe and our Relationship, that is the story.

So got all my stuff loaded into the car: a painting, paints, easel, canvas drop cloth for floor, lunch, purse, ipad, cellphone, etc.  I'm sitting in the car parked in the driveway fooling around with the GPS when Jack arrives home from playing his round of golf.  I try to explain what I am doing, but he's under the impression that I am backing out of the driveway and is waving good bye.  I realize windows are shut on the car and he can't hear me so I decide to just leave without setting the GPS.  It's easier to set the GPS after I'm on my way than to figure out how to open the windows and then explain to my husband.  Trust me, this is truth.

 After a few miles I pull over and set my GPS so that I can know when I will arrive at the gallery, 11:07a.m.  Late!  I am very irritated at myself, I'm going to be late.  I am hitting every red light, I'm not sure of the route I should take, I'm wanting to call someone at the gallery to let them know I will be late but nobody is there-- it's my day to work the gallery!  I'm beginning to freak out, I'm talking to myself out loud and realize every light I hit is red, and that GPS lady--I'm going to kill her!

Whew!  I hit the off button on the GPS and Aha, I should have listened when the U didn't want me to use the GPS way back when I was in the driveway at home.   At this point I decide so what if I'm 7 minutes late?  Maybe I can make up the time if only the stop lights will work with me...and this is my Aha moment once I decide to relax, stop speeding up the mountain and just be in the flow of the Universe.  I realize I'm at odds with the world, with the road, with the trees, the birds...I am just fighting myself to be heard in the U and the U is not listening.  I quit drinking my cup of coffee, switch to water, put the spa station on the radio and begin the process of calming myself in order to get in tune with the Universe.  I am finally enjoying the day in the new car, with lovely music on and appreciating ALL THAT IS when it comes into my mind to call Annie and let her know this Aha.  We talk, I get calmer and calmer and finally the Universe is with me again and all the lights are green into Sutter Creek.

I was an hour late, after all the gallery is suppose to open at 10am on Sunday.  Laura had opened for me, Thank you U, and she understood.  Now to get myself squared away in the future.