So I am finally in the mood again to write down my thoughts. Holidays are fun and meaningful, filled with friends and family and mostly the interruption into our regular scheduled lives is welcome; however for me, once the excitement passes I am ready to get back to the uneventfulness of my life now. And then of course we lost a very close sister, Jack's oldest sister really, and the suddenness of the event was very disrespectful though the part we played in the scenario was good for my husband in that he became very cognizant of family love and all the meanings surrounding it.
Today I am off to the Crocker with bestie Margot. We will have a wonderful day as always when we are together. We will finish one another's sentences, laugh at the same things and love the same things.
Rain began last night after no rain yet this year, so for so many reasons I will be breathing steadily an well.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Friday, November 22, 2013
Visiting the View Out of Other Windows
New windows are very exciting, and even better are windows that we visit every so often. We can reunite with sights, feelings, and stories that feed our souls.
Visiting family that are not close by is something we tend to every few months. It's so envigorating to be around young people-- they are going to work and school, telling us about their present victories, accomplishments, experiences all while we are in their environment which is so different than ours. After all, there are the family pets, the stash of morning cereals that are not bought with fiber being the main ingredient, the television programs that are not newsworthy, the timetables and schedules that are a must to everybody but we retired folks.
After a few days of being with these loved ones, of enjoying what they enjoy and seeing things through their eyes, we will be refreshed again and ready to return to our fiber filled cereals and easy listening music.
Right now though we are excitedly awaiting a school bus to drop off our charges. What will we do with them once they are in our midst? Perhaps a movie? Whatever it is, I anticipate some lovely smiles and feelings of love all around me.
Friday, October 4, 2013
October Already?
Wind softly blows the leaves and dirt around the patio, the trees lightly dance proclaiming their part in this wondrous dance that nature does, and I sit before my window enjoying...peacefully enjoying.
Of course there is chaos in the world: a government shut down, the crazy antics of the celebrity elite, a disaster somewhere. Then there are the many stories of common humankind just living or trying to live. Each of these is a dance choreographed in a different way, the media has a part in focusing on the sensationalism that is their forte' so that we get glimpses of what is extraordinary, not real, possibly not true and if true not always something to be proud. Maybe with that somehow we can feel the power in being just us (common humankind) doing our own individual dance.
Each one of us creates our own dance that we get to choreograph through experiences, creating, teaching, wondering, learning, helping, rescuing, etc. We can choose then each day what our dance will be.
Today I am enjoying the wind, sun, trees, birds, my Jacky and my friends...just keepin' it simple breathing, yes breathing, loving each breath.
Of course there is chaos in the world: a government shut down, the crazy antics of the celebrity elite, a disaster somewhere. Then there are the many stories of common humankind just living or trying to live. Each of these is a dance choreographed in a different way, the media has a part in focusing on the sensationalism that is their forte' so that we get glimpses of what is extraordinary, not real, possibly not true and if true not always something to be proud. Maybe with that somehow we can feel the power in being just us (common humankind) doing our own individual dance.
Each one of us creates our own dance that we get to choreograph through experiences, creating, teaching, wondering, learning, helping, rescuing, etc. We can choose then each day what our dance will be.
Today I am enjoying the wind, sun, trees, birds, my Jacky and my friends...just keepin' it simple breathing, yes breathing, loving each breath.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Joy
So it's Thursday, nothing on my calendar except Felipe and Natalya. So by the end of today our house should be clean and the yard picked up and de-weeded. Yay!
Checking email this morning and I have 100-something incoming so I want to go through those and read all the art blogs I subscribe to, tend to those matters pending, and write to a person Anje has referred me to who is having an art thingee this summer and wants artists to participate. So, good day for busy work and maybe will do some painting.
I sometimes wonder how I got here, to this place in my life. I recall my past; growing up as a shy, and really introverted girl, marrying young her first boyfriend, then having children because that's the next step, then taking back her independence to reclaim some sense of herself without others directing her life.
Fast forward to 2013 and I have my knight in shining armor, 2 wonderful daughters that I am so proud of, and I am authentically me. Why do I get this life? I think anyone can have it. It's the attitude, the attitude of finding joy in everything one experiences.
Checking email this morning and I have 100-something incoming so I want to go through those and read all the art blogs I subscribe to, tend to those matters pending, and write to a person Anje has referred me to who is having an art thingee this summer and wants artists to participate. So, good day for busy work and maybe will do some painting.
I sometimes wonder how I got here, to this place in my life. I recall my past; growing up as a shy, and really introverted girl, marrying young her first boyfriend, then having children because that's the next step, then taking back her independence to reclaim some sense of herself without others directing her life.
Fast forward to 2013 and I have my knight in shining armor, 2 wonderful daughters that I am so proud of, and I am authentically me. Why do I get this life? I think anyone can have it. It's the attitude, the attitude of finding joy in everything one experiences.
Aha Again
At my window today, I remember yesterday...which began a little less than ideally. I overslept first of all til 8:30 which I never, ever do. I wanted to be at SC Gallery by 10, but thought if I was there by 11 would be okay as that's the opening time. Not true, opening time is 10 on Sundays BUT somebody else had opened so I got on with my day.
That isn't the story here though, the story is the Aha moment I had...me 'n the Universe and our Relationship, that is the story.
So got all my stuff loaded into the car: a painting, paints, easel, canvas drop cloth for floor, lunch, purse, ipad, cellphone, etc. I'm sitting in the car parked in the driveway fooling around with the GPS when Jack arrives home from playing his round of golf. I try to explain what I am doing, but he's under the impression that I am backing out of the driveway and is waving good bye. I realize windows are shut on the car and he can't hear me so I decide to just leave without setting the GPS. It's easier to set the GPS after I'm on my way than to figure out how to open the windows and then explain to my husband. Trust me, this is truth.
After a few miles I pull over and set my GPS so that I can know when I will arrive at the gallery, 11:07a.m. Late! I am very irritated at myself, I'm going to be late. I am hitting every red light, I'm not sure of the route I should take, I'm wanting to call someone at the gallery to let them know I will be late but nobody is there-- it's my day to work the gallery! I'm beginning to freak out, I'm talking to myself out loud and realize every light I hit is red, and that GPS lady--I'm going to kill her!
Whew! I hit the off button on the GPS and Aha, I should have listened when the U didn't want me to use the GPS way back when I was in the driveway at home. At this point I decide so what if I'm 7 minutes late? Maybe I can make up the time if only the stop lights will work with me...and this is my Aha moment once I decide to relax, stop speeding up the mountain and just be in the flow of the Universe. I realize I'm at odds with the world, with the road, with the trees, the birds...I am just fighting myself to be heard in the U and the U is not listening. I quit drinking my cup of coffee, switch to water, put the spa station on the radio and begin the process of calming myself in order to get in tune with the Universe. I am finally enjoying the day in the new car, with lovely music on and appreciating ALL THAT IS when it comes into my mind to call Annie and let her know this Aha. We talk, I get calmer and calmer and finally the Universe is with me again and all the lights are green into Sutter Creek.
I was an hour late, after all the gallery is suppose to open at 10am on Sunday. Laura had opened for me, Thank you U, and she understood. Now to get myself squared away in the future.
That isn't the story here though, the story is the Aha moment I had...me 'n the Universe and our Relationship, that is the story.
So got all my stuff loaded into the car: a painting, paints, easel, canvas drop cloth for floor, lunch, purse, ipad, cellphone, etc. I'm sitting in the car parked in the driveway fooling around with the GPS when Jack arrives home from playing his round of golf. I try to explain what I am doing, but he's under the impression that I am backing out of the driveway and is waving good bye. I realize windows are shut on the car and he can't hear me so I decide to just leave without setting the GPS. It's easier to set the GPS after I'm on my way than to figure out how to open the windows and then explain to my husband. Trust me, this is truth.
After a few miles I pull over and set my GPS so that I can know when I will arrive at the gallery, 11:07a.m. Late! I am very irritated at myself, I'm going to be late. I am hitting every red light, I'm not sure of the route I should take, I'm wanting to call someone at the gallery to let them know I will be late but nobody is there-- it's my day to work the gallery! I'm beginning to freak out, I'm talking to myself out loud and realize every light I hit is red, and that GPS lady--I'm going to kill her!
Whew! I hit the off button on the GPS and Aha, I should have listened when the U didn't want me to use the GPS way back when I was in the driveway at home. At this point I decide so what if I'm 7 minutes late? Maybe I can make up the time if only the stop lights will work with me...and this is my Aha moment once I decide to relax, stop speeding up the mountain and just be in the flow of the Universe. I realize I'm at odds with the world, with the road, with the trees, the birds...I am just fighting myself to be heard in the U and the U is not listening. I quit drinking my cup of coffee, switch to water, put the spa station on the radio and begin the process of calming myself in order to get in tune with the Universe. I am finally enjoying the day in the new car, with lovely music on and appreciating ALL THAT IS when it comes into my mind to call Annie and let her know this Aha. We talk, I get calmer and calmer and finally the Universe is with me again and all the lights are green into Sutter Creek.
I was an hour late, after all the gallery is suppose to open at 10am on Sunday. Laura had opened for me, Thank you U, and she understood. Now to get myself squared away in the future.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Dressing the Part
So this morning I'm in my closet for a half an hour trying to figure out what to wear. It's not because I'm going anywhere special. Not going to work, not going to the art gallery to put in my time, not meeting friends for lunch, not doing a date with Hubby...lol, just at the house today gardening and painting in the studio.
Problem is there's a top I want to wear; a kind of tank top with a flared bottom tunic length. It's flimsy material and I think I paid over $50 for it last summer and have never worn it. So I put it on, hate my arms coming through but it's a flattering, comfortable fit and so now what to place over it or under it is my question. So I look in the mirror and imagine skinny jeans, no; imagine shorts, no; and then realize the only pants would be my light sweats that have baggy, loose legs. Those go on and then I suddenly know what else to do and so I throw the black tunic off and plunk on a long sleeve, white thinnest thin undershirt then replace the black top. Voila! I'm ready to plop my hair into a bun and get to work!
I'm laughing as I walk out of the closet thinking about this crazy scenario wondering about me and realize the outfit is very important to me. If I feel ugly I cannot do good work; I must dress for the occasion even if it is lounging all day, not seeing a single person, and simply spending time with me.
AND I recall when I was in the workforce, casual Friday was not a good day for me. As soon as I put on those casual, play time clothes I was ready for socializing, laughing and fun and not ready to accomplish anything worthwhile. So...I guess nothing changes in life. We ARE like thoroughbreds as Jack keeps telling me.
Beginning my day in the proper attire, breathing pretty easily, and gonna get a lot of artful work done today.
Problem is there's a top I want to wear; a kind of tank top with a flared bottom tunic length. It's flimsy material and I think I paid over $50 for it last summer and have never worn it. So I put it on, hate my arms coming through but it's a flattering, comfortable fit and so now what to place over it or under it is my question. So I look in the mirror and imagine skinny jeans, no; imagine shorts, no; and then realize the only pants would be my light sweats that have baggy, loose legs. Those go on and then I suddenly know what else to do and so I throw the black tunic off and plunk on a long sleeve, white thinnest thin undershirt then replace the black top. Voila! I'm ready to plop my hair into a bun and get to work!
I'm laughing as I walk out of the closet thinking about this crazy scenario wondering about me and realize the outfit is very important to me. If I feel ugly I cannot do good work; I must dress for the occasion even if it is lounging all day, not seeing a single person, and simply spending time with me.
AND I recall when I was in the workforce, casual Friday was not a good day for me. As soon as I put on those casual, play time clothes I was ready for socializing, laughing and fun and not ready to accomplish anything worthwhile. So...I guess nothing changes in life. We ARE like thoroughbreds as Jack keeps telling me.
Beginning my day in the proper attire, breathing pretty easily, and gonna get a lot of artful work done today.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Sissies and Old Age
The wind is making us a little nuts lately. Papa's allergies drive him nuts. My plants and trees suffer if I don't get out there and hand water every nook and cranny of the yard. Even Kollin had a bloody nose yesterday from the dry air. Oh, to have such problems and I say this smiling because I am not at all serious-- just a little part of daily life.
I read a blog yesterday by a girl that has fibromyalgia and her piece was about the invisibility of her illness. She looks well so it's difficult for people to understand her sickly behavior.
And so it goes with ageing. At points in an individual's life there are peaks; a time when all body organs are at their optimum, a time when all the bones have gotten to the best place they are ever going to be, the brain is at it's quickest and most healthy, muscles don't hurt and are supple and strong, a time (about 42 lol) when we look our best. Then the human body begins its descent.
It begins in minor ways. One notices street signs are difficult to see, it is more and more difficult to open jars and medicine bottles, there are nights when sleep is elusive, it takes a little longer to process information and to "get" jokes. I remember when it began for me Mom had a pillow that read OLD AGE AIN'T FOR SISSIES and we laughed, me thinking this old age thingee is a piece o' cake.
Now that I'm full fledged into it that pillow is not so funny. I need one pair of glasses to see the street signs when I drive and a different pair to see for reading. So that means of course I cannot see how fast I am going if I elect to see where I am going. And yes there are those bifocal glasses that absolutely drive my brain crazy so those are not an option for me. I just hang two pairs of glasses from my neck when I am out nowadays. The arthritis in my thumbs is now moving to fingers and my forearms so I do a slow exercise routine in the A.M. so that I'm ready to open jars and bottles in the P.M.. Ha! Jack and I hafta eat very carefully because not enough fiber is a problem, too much richness and tasty foods are a problem and heaven help us if we have too much alcohol, dessert, salsa, fried foods, gravies, sauces, meats, processed stuff, and delicious fast foods.
Don't even get me started on our hearing, understanding jokes, and sleeping...those are stories for another day.
I end with stating that the invisibility of old age is probably a good thing, otherwise nobody would want to go there. And if I am in denial and old age isn't invisible, just don't tell me! I just thank the Universe that Jack and I are not and never have been Sissies...laughing out loud.
I read a blog yesterday by a girl that has fibromyalgia and her piece was about the invisibility of her illness. She looks well so it's difficult for people to understand her sickly behavior.
And so it goes with ageing. At points in an individual's life there are peaks; a time when all body organs are at their optimum, a time when all the bones have gotten to the best place they are ever going to be, the brain is at it's quickest and most healthy, muscles don't hurt and are supple and strong, a time (about 42 lol) when we look our best. Then the human body begins its descent.
It begins in minor ways. One notices street signs are difficult to see, it is more and more difficult to open jars and medicine bottles, there are nights when sleep is elusive, it takes a little longer to process information and to "get" jokes. I remember when it began for me Mom had a pillow that read OLD AGE AIN'T FOR SISSIES and we laughed, me thinking this old age thingee is a piece o' cake.
Now that I'm full fledged into it that pillow is not so funny. I need one pair of glasses to see the street signs when I drive and a different pair to see for reading. So that means of course I cannot see how fast I am going if I elect to see where I am going. And yes there are those bifocal glasses that absolutely drive my brain crazy so those are not an option for me. I just hang two pairs of glasses from my neck when I am out nowadays. The arthritis in my thumbs is now moving to fingers and my forearms so I do a slow exercise routine in the A.M. so that I'm ready to open jars and bottles in the P.M.. Ha! Jack and I hafta eat very carefully because not enough fiber is a problem, too much richness and tasty foods are a problem and heaven help us if we have too much alcohol, dessert, salsa, fried foods, gravies, sauces, meats, processed stuff, and delicious fast foods.
Don't even get me started on our hearing, understanding jokes, and sleeping...those are stories for another day.
I end with stating that the invisibility of old age is probably a good thing, otherwise nobody would want to go there. And if I am in denial and old age isn't invisible, just don't tell me! I just thank the Universe that Jack and I are not and never have been Sissies...laughing out loud.
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