And so to not saint-i-size myself with the S&H purchases, I need to put down that my life in those days was mostly about how I could impress others (mother-in-law, sister, mom, friends, husband, the world). At 66, I know that about myself: my needing the attention, the praise, the pat on the back and children kind of allowed me to have that within my little realm (after all I was the princess). Being the oldest, I could be the Martha Stewart/Hilary Clinton/Shirley McClain of my clan only because of their allowing me to be.
The shadow of that still haunts me because I still have that in me, the desire to be the ONE. Often the desire enables my tending to be discounting and demanding. I have begun with my children to be calmer and to be sure to give positive praise and permission, and with the grandkids even more so...the world will have to do without.
Third Act is about tending to those shadows. With a heart full of love for the planet, One hopes to authentically grow in truth.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Grateful for Memories
Alrighty then...doing an online class with Katie Kendrick. This week she had demo'd placing a grid onto whatever substrate one is using; she was actually doing a journal page.
She was thinking about familial memories and began with placing S&H Green Stamps onto her journal pages. This gave her the beginnings of the grid and took her to memories of sticking them into books for her mother when she was young.
I am attempting the grid assignment today and planned to do it in my journal however I already didn't do it like Katie...which I don't care about except that I liked the idea of grid onto grid that she did.
S&H Green Stamps remind me of when my children were young, maybe even before they were born. I was forever going to the redemption center to get something for them, either for their care or for decorating their rooms. I remember getting a baby bottle set with instructions on how to clean and sterilize them. I think I also got a baby crib at some point for one of the girls. One could get a toaster or a coffee pot and even do Christmas shopping with the things as long as the center didn't run out of that particular gift.
Those times were fun. Just me looking forward to having my babies, making their baby food in my blender, brewing coffee in my Pyrex coffee pot, and feeding them with the free baby bottles.
My sister Pat and I were great with the green stamps as I remember, she would be able to get free stuff too so we were always looking at the catalogue, dreaming about what we could do and how we would do it when our kids were born.
Never did I think I would be writing about these happy times later in my life. At the time we struggled to make ends meet, we worked very hard to have our lives be positive, and the sense of purpose and importance made us so happy. At 66, I am very grateful for these memories.
She was thinking about familial memories and began with placing S&H Green Stamps onto her journal pages. This gave her the beginnings of the grid and took her to memories of sticking them into books for her mother when she was young.
I am attempting the grid assignment today and planned to do it in my journal however I already didn't do it like Katie...which I don't care about except that I liked the idea of grid onto grid that she did.
S&H Green Stamps remind me of when my children were young, maybe even before they were born. I was forever going to the redemption center to get something for them, either for their care or for decorating their rooms. I remember getting a baby bottle set with instructions on how to clean and sterilize them. I think I also got a baby crib at some point for one of the girls. One could get a toaster or a coffee pot and even do Christmas shopping with the things as long as the center didn't run out of that particular gift.
Those times were fun. Just me looking forward to having my babies, making their baby food in my blender, brewing coffee in my Pyrex coffee pot, and feeding them with the free baby bottles.
My sister Pat and I were great with the green stamps as I remember, she would be able to get free stuff too so we were always looking at the catalogue, dreaming about what we could do and how we would do it when our kids were born.
Never did I think I would be writing about these happy times later in my life. At the time we struggled to make ends meet, we worked very hard to have our lives be positive, and the sense of purpose and importance made us so happy. At 66, I am very grateful for these memories.
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Everett Loves It!
So this is "Two Trees, a House, a Garden, One Ocean and Two Boats" per Youngest Grandson's instructions.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Lovely Time of Year
And then there's the simple expression of what he would like from me. A painting, something to hang in his room or maybe just to have. After all! he has given me many of his works of art in the past, so now it's payback time.
"Two trees, one house, a garden, two boats, and one ocean" is what he requests. At first he says two oceans, but no I misunderstand...only one!
This little boy from his smile to his curly little ringlets of "orange" pasted on his head makes his Nana a better person.
Thank you Universe!
"Two trees, one house, a garden, two boats, and one ocean" is what he requests. At first he says two oceans, but no I misunderstand...only one!
This little boy from his smile to his curly little ringlets of "orange" pasted on his head makes his Nana a better person.
Thank you Universe!
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Voila!
Backlight
Another acrylic to add to my month of paintings.
I actually just finished this painting today; it was begun a few years ago. At the time I originally painted it, I was showing my art at the Sutter Creek Gallery. I was so intense at the time trying to do enough paintings to keep the exhibit fresh and different. For me it was no longer about the process but just churning out paintings to hang and sell. I sold quite a few, was busy and feeling good about keeping up with other artists and the numbers we were putting out there.
When I finally decided to let go of all of that and get back to the joy of creating, there were a few that had never sold. I didn't really like this one and didn't know why for a long time. I hung it in the bathroom where I could study it and after a year or so knew that the light was coming from behind the trees. I had painted them with sun shining all over the place and not much change in values. I have darkened them and tried to place some value changes on this side though they are dark...I like it much better.
So this small 11x14 took me oh maybe 3 years to paint. The preliminary work I did when I was showing and selling at the gallery. Today I finally added the finishing touches and voila!
Monday, April 13, 2015
You Can Change the World
I finally know I don't need to change the world. I know that I can do anything that I desire, but all that I desire is #1 to be a good wife and mother, be the best nana that I can be, and to live as truthful and authentic a life as I can possibly live.
For many years I heard from Youngest Daughter to stop trying to be JC. Her perception was that I was under the impression that I could do anything, change anything, and that I was always right, i.e. Jesus Christ. Of course I laughed that off for a while, years. Over time though I studied myself, hearing myself speak, seeing myself. I found that sometimes it wasn't what I said but the way I said it that created the idea that I knew all. I don't know all, never thought I knew all, and in fact I was forever faking it, playing the part of being educated and in control.
I think that when one has some measure of common sense, a small measure of knowledge and is street wise there is a certain way to be convincing enough to turn people's heads. Those heads don't want to think more than they have to so they decide to follow without question, or they question and one with the small measure of common sense, the small measure of knowledge and the street sense convinces them all is good. More heads follow, and more success is acquired by one who leads in this fashion.
Over time, one who leads gets convinced that she can do anything, change anything and her word is gospel.
One gets to be 65, has the wisdom to go back to her sacred promises to herself which were always to be a good wife and mother, be the best nana she could be, and to live truthfully and authentically. All the other side jobs that she thought she was so good at just sort of fall away to the ground something like petals on a wilted daisy.
For me the daisy is not dead yet, 3 petals are still hanging on.
For many years I heard from Youngest Daughter to stop trying to be JC. Her perception was that I was under the impression that I could do anything, change anything, and that I was always right, i.e. Jesus Christ. Of course I laughed that off for a while, years. Over time though I studied myself, hearing myself speak, seeing myself. I found that sometimes it wasn't what I said but the way I said it that created the idea that I knew all. I don't know all, never thought I knew all, and in fact I was forever faking it, playing the part of being educated and in control.
I think that when one has some measure of common sense, a small measure of knowledge and is street wise there is a certain way to be convincing enough to turn people's heads. Those heads don't want to think more than they have to so they decide to follow without question, or they question and one with the small measure of common sense, the small measure of knowledge and the street sense convinces them all is good. More heads follow, and more success is acquired by one who leads in this fashion.
Over time, one who leads gets convinced that she can do anything, change anything and her word is gospel.
One gets to be 65, has the wisdom to go back to her sacred promises to herself which were always to be a good wife and mother, be the best nana she could be, and to live truthfully and authentically. All the other side jobs that she thought she was so good at just sort of fall away to the ground something like petals on a wilted daisy.
For me the daisy is not dead yet, 3 petals are still hanging on.
Universal Balance
So we used the dung paper hearts to write our wishes on Easter Sunday.
First we all talked about being grateful, about all the items and times we have to be grateful for in our lives. It was at Annie and Mark's with Aunt Benny and all the kiddos, me and Papa. We talked about material things a little bit but how the spiritual parts of life are so much more valuable in the long scheme of things. I led the discussion and tried my best to share wisdom and my spirituality; however, I in no way think that I did a very good job at getting to everybody's innermost feelings. It's difficult to inspire especially for me when I forget half of what I want to say and get distracted so easily by minor things.
I had placed around the area in which we had gathered, burning incense. Also prior to our gathering, I had spread the smoke and heat of sage to cleanse the atmosphere of any negative and toxic ions. A few of the kids helped.
We all wrote on our dung paper hearts our wishes and/or reasons for being grateful, anything we wanted to share with the Universe was written on those pieces of paper. They did not have to be shown or shared with anybody else and we folded them and threw them in my clay pot which is used for any of the rituals I dream up in conjunction with the Universe. I had prepared the pot with a lighted coal tablet so that our precious pieces of paper would smolder up into the Universe.
A pagan ritual? Well I believe that Jesus, Mohammed, God, all the Buddhas, Mary Magdelen, and Judith, and all the men and women who have shared their wisdom here on Earth received our messages along with the animals, plants, and trees. We share them with the Universe, creating our plusses and minuses for balance.
First we all talked about being grateful, about all the items and times we have to be grateful for in our lives. It was at Annie and Mark's with Aunt Benny and all the kiddos, me and Papa. We talked about material things a little bit but how the spiritual parts of life are so much more valuable in the long scheme of things. I led the discussion and tried my best to share wisdom and my spirituality; however, I in no way think that I did a very good job at getting to everybody's innermost feelings. It's difficult to inspire especially for me when I forget half of what I want to say and get distracted so easily by minor things.
I had placed around the area in which we had gathered, burning incense. Also prior to our gathering, I had spread the smoke and heat of sage to cleanse the atmosphere of any negative and toxic ions. A few of the kids helped.
We all wrote on our dung paper hearts our wishes and/or reasons for being grateful, anything we wanted to share with the Universe was written on those pieces of paper. They did not have to be shown or shared with anybody else and we folded them and threw them in my clay pot which is used for any of the rituals I dream up in conjunction with the Universe. I had prepared the pot with a lighted coal tablet so that our precious pieces of paper would smolder up into the Universe.
A pagan ritual? Well I believe that Jesus, Mohammed, God, all the Buddhas, Mary Magdelen, and Judith, and all the men and women who have shared their wisdom here on Earth received our messages along with the animals, plants, and trees. We share them with the Universe, creating our plusses and minuses for balance.
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