So why is it sometimes a friend does the innuendo joke thingee, and the receiver ends up feeling badly about a decision they have made? Or is it that the person receiving the innuendo thingee reads into it whatever they are most afraid?
We humans are very social at this point in our evolution. Of course there are those that socially want to do murder but overall, the majority of us need friends of some sort, need to have a mate, need to give birth and/or be a parent, need to interact with others in similar situations, need to interact with others in different situations, etc. etc.
Actually I think I have been guilty of doing the innuendo thingee in the past and that's probably why I can identify the action so accurately. However I hope at this point in my life that I have gotten over feeling the need to make others uncomfortable with which I don't agree. And I know I have purposely tried to avoid doing that to others because I don't like when it happens to me. So I can make a judgement about a situation and know that I would hope not to make that decision were I in the same circumstance; however I do not have the need to express that in any fashion, directly or in an insinuating way. Gosh, I sincerely hope I have gotten that far with being human.
So what do I do about this friend. Do I decide she really wants me to feel bad? Do I overlook the insensitive comments she makes as a way of joking?
Gonna think about this a while and kind of just "let it be" for now.
If it's an occasional thing, maybe let it go. If it happens regularly, it seems either you are overly sensitive (which, though I don't know you well, is not my impression) or she is passive aggressive and maybe not a good match. Two or three times in the past 20 years I have tried to hang in with friends who routinely made me feel uncomfortable. Ultimately I decided it wasn't worth the effort. A good friend shouldn't cause that much stress. IMAO
ReplyDeleteGosh Connie, I hear you.
ReplyDelete