I have, so far this morning, printed images of all available art. These will be included in my portfolio in which I am also including information about a couple of awards I have received, art affiliations I have, and about the blogs I have established. I have visions of people lining up to check out this compilation of my work, however in reality will be happy if my husband is impressed because I know I am; impressed with myself, that is, and I say this laughing out loud at this fairy-tale I have contrived.
For it is all a joke you know. In my head my life is what I always dreamed it would be: retired after a wonderful career that I enjoyed immensely, kids all grown up and successful in their own right, grandkids at my beck and call whenever I need hugs and smiles, a husband that is a person of which I am soooooo proud and in desperate love, and I am a painter with lots of painterly friends who sells and shows her art on a regular basis enjoying the process along the way. While all of this is true, I leave out all of the difficult times like when the water was turned off because I couldn't pay the bill, like when I was on a corner somewhere in Huntington Beach not knowing who I was or where I was going, like the numerous times Youngest Daughter had to drop off a check to pay the phone bill before it was turned off. Those are just a few of the secrets I carry along with me on my life's journey.
I prefer not to have secrets anymore. I'm out there with my stinkin' secrets, I'm painting all the hard times away and all the times I have felt sorry for myself. I don't feel sorry anymore because I can breathe now, not having to keep the secrets allows me to breathe, to be honest, to be fulfilled without guilt. Wow! Who knew this life was so simple? And so funny, so stinkin' funny that it was so simple all along.
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